She hurt me so bad, but why do i still love her?

If there are regular members on here than you will know what has happened to me but if you arent then please check my other topics in the 'Love' forum, thanks!

Well me and my ex have been apart for over 2 months now, and we went out to a club we always used to go to about 4 weeks ago, but it didnt go well, as you will be able to tell from obe of my other topics.

She never spoke to me after that, even though i done nothing wrong, i sent her a message every now and again afterwards, just asking how she was and if she was having a good day, nothing major just general chit chat, thens he sent one back saying that like was great for her at the minute, and that i should stop saying 'Love david' at the end of messages because we are not going out anymore, she said that she had moved on i should too, but when we were out at the club, why sis she keep looking at me whenever i spoke to another girl??
so i sent her a message back saying how can someone who you has loved someone for 2 1/2 years and were engaged to just move on that quick, and i said that i thought that her new friends had hcanged her, because it is the truth they have changed her but she is being to stubborn to realise, then i got a reply saying, that she has not changed, she has just grown up, and that i should too. Which was balls because she has changed because of her friends. Then i got another one and she said that she thinks it will be far to hard for us to be friends and that i am being childish???, i was thinking to myself 'What the......' well i said to her of course we can be frends its just hard for me to understand how someone can move on so quick, i wanna still be friends and we can still talk. and i said please dont forget about me!. I said that because i love her so much! this was on a wednesday, it was my birthday coming up on the sunday.

It got to saturday and i got up early to check the mail to see if i got a card off her for my birthday because there is no post on sundays, but i didnt get one, and i though to myself, she might give me one in person tomorrow, it came to my birthday and i didnt get a card or even a message or a call to say happy birthday, i was really hurt by this because she could have at least said happy birthday, i wasnt bothered about no card or present!

That wasnt the main thing that hurt me, i got a phone call from my friend Ben, asking me if i would like to go down the club, that we always go to, including me and lisa when we were together, but i said no because i had no money, then i got a call from my sister, and it wasnt very good news. She said ive got some bad news for you, i dunno if i should tell you or not, but i said go ahead, and she told me that Lisa had a new boyfriend and that she is down the club with him now, i was gutted!!, she didnt even tell me she had a new boyfriend, and she went down the club that i always go to with him, and didnt even tell me, i had to find out from one of my friends!!, now how low is that!!??, i was really really hurt, not by the f act that she had a new boyfriend but the way i found out about it, everyone i know from the club new before me?, it hurt so much, so i sent lisa a lng message telling her what i though of her, and telling her how much she has hurt me by not telling me and letting my find out by someone else.

But then i found out who her new boyfriend was, then i started to laugh!!, because he is a boy i used to work with a couple of months ago, he is only 16, 17 max and he takes drugs!!, im not being big headed or nothng but how she could have moved from me to a 16 year old druggie??, she is 19 on august 3rd for christ sakes!, he isnt even old enough to be in the club that they go to. Ii was laughing so hard when i found out, and everyone i know is laughing at it, because he is a little bastard, and he gets beat up like every other week because is tries to be cocky with everyone, and ends up getting beat up.

Me and my friends say that it will last about 1 week 2 weeks maximum with him, because her parents are very very against people who takes drugs and they will hate him, i dont know what she is thinking!

But i am worried for her, she is a really nice person at heart and i dont wanna see her starting to smoke and take drugs just so she can be like him, if she does i will lose all respect for her, people keep telling me to get him sorted out and give him a good beating, but im not like that, i wil exchange words with him and tell him what i think of him, specially because as he was supposed to be a friend and knows what me and lisa have been going through?? They cant be getting along very well, because i found out that when they were out lisa was crying on the stairs, and they were both sitting there for 2 hours??, i know she isnt right for him, but i suppose she has to learn for herself, i just feel like an idiot losing a girl i was engaged to and then fiding out she is going out with a 16-17 year old druggie! i dont think she knows what she is wanting right now, and hopefully she will realise how much i meant to her?

But i have a problem..... Why do i still love and care for her?? spcially when she has done something like this to me?, im supposed to be hating her right now right?, i am very pissed off at her, but i cant hate her?m why is this, i dont understand, i just still love her, and i probably always will!!, please help me

शादी के तीन साल बाद लड़की ने माना ‘भाव खाने’ के चक्कर में गंवाए अच्छे लड़के

दिल्ली. एक ज़माना था जब उसकी गिनती कॉलेज की सबसे हसीन लड़कियों में होती थी। उसकी एक-एक अदा के एक-एक हज़ार दीवाने थे। कोई उसकी स्माइल पर फिदा था तो कोई स्टाइल पर। कोई उसकी आंखों पर जान देता था तो कोई बालों पर। किसी ने उस पर रौब जमाने के लिए बाप से बाइक दिलाने के लिए झगड़ा किया तो किसी ने औकात से बाहर जाकर नए कपड़े सिलवाए। इस उम्मीद में कि शायद अच्छे कपड़ों से उनकी गंदी शक्ल की भरपाई हो जाए।
उदास मुद्रा में रूपवती

मगर वो रूपवती तो अपनी ही धुन में सवार थी। हर दिन चार-पांच लड़के उसे प्रपोज़ करते और वो उन्हें मिमोह चक्रवर्ती की फिल्म समझ नकार देती। डेढ़-दो सौ लड़कों के प्रेम की इस परीक्षा में फेल होने के बाद पूरे कॉलेज में बात फैल गई कि यहां टाइम वेस्ट करने का फायदा नहीं। औसत दिखने वाले लड़कों ने तो पहले ही कभी खुद को कॉम्पिटिशन में नहीं माना था, अब तो तथाकथित हैंडसम भी मैदान छोड़ने लगे थे।

इसी तरह के नाज़ों-नख़रों में उसने अपने कॉलेज के तीन साल गुज़ार दिए। पढ़ाई में उसका उतना ही इंटरेस्ट था जितना सरकारी बैंकों में जमा पैसे पर मिलता है, यानी बहुत कम! अलबत्ता ग्रेजुएट होते ही उसने पढ़ाई छोड़ दी। इधर पढ़ाई छूटी और उधर घरवालों ने एक बड़े बिज़नेसमैन से उसकी शादी कर दी। लड़के का जितना बडा बिज़नेस था उससे कही ज़्यादा बड़ी उसकी तोंद थी।

जानकारों के मुताबिक ऐसी हर चीज़ जिसमें ज़िंदगी बसती है, उसमें उस लड़के की कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं थी। न उसे घूमने का शौक था, न फिल्मों का। न उसे म्यूज़िक पसंद था, न किताबें और अगर उसे कोई किताब पसंद थी तो वो था बहीखाता, जिसमें वो अपने धंधे का हिसाब लिखता था।

वक्त के साथ-साथ पति की तोंद बढ़ती गई और उसी अनुपात में हमारी रूपवती की अपने पति में दिलचस्पी घटती गई। इसी कोफ्त में एक दिन उसने अपना फेसबुक अकाउंट बनाया।

हद दर्जे की ढपोल होने के बावजूद वो कुछ ही दिन में फेसबुक से वाकिफ हो गई। और फिर एक दिन आया वो लम्हा…सास कीर्तन पर गई थी, पति तोंद के साथ दुकान पर, कामवाली काम कर और फर्श पर पड़े चिल्लर उठा जा चुकी थी और दूधवाले के आने में अभी टाइम था….वो फेसबुक के सर्च ऑप्शन में गई और उसने टाइप किया…Rohit Sharma…जी हां, ये वही लड़का था जिसे मना करने का उसे बाद में अफसोस हुआ था।

आज वो एक अच्छी कम्पनी में काम कर रहा था, छह महीने पहले शादी कर विदेश में हनीमून मनाकर आया था। हनीमून की तस्वीरों में वो अपनी बीवी के साथ बहुत खुश नज़र आ रहा था। हर तस्वीर के नीचे उसने मज़ेदार कैप्शन लिख रखे थे। कुछ में शायरी भी कर रखी थी। वो उसकी क्रिएटिविटी से काफी इम्प्रेस हुई। खुश और मुस्कुराती तस्वीरें देखकर वो भी मुस्कुराने लगी। मगर इसी मुस्कुराहट के बीच अचानक वो नरगिस फाकरी जैसे अजीबो-गरीब एक्सप्रेशन देने लगी। न उससे हंसते बन रहा था, न रोते…न जाने क्यूं…किस वजह से…उसे रोहित की एवरेज-सी दिखने वाली बीवी से जैलिसी होने लगी। वो सोचने लगी कि ये लड़की तो मेरे आगे कहीं नहीं ठहरती। अगर मैंने रोहित को ‘हां’ कह दिया होता तो ये इससे कभी शादी नहीं करता…

फ्रस्ट्रेटिड आदमी का खाली दिमाग कुछ ज़्यादा ही कल्पनाएं करने लगता है…वो भी करने लगी …अगर इन फोटोग्राफ्स में इस लड़की की जगह मैं होती तो कितने फक्र से इसे अपने प्रोफाइल पर शेयर करती, ढेर सारे लाइक आते, अच्छे-अच्छे कॉमेंट मिलते…हम नई-नई जगहों पर जाते…ढेर सारी फोटो खिंचवाते…वो कल्पनाएं करती जा रही थी और खुश थी…तभी घंटी बजी…उसने दरवाज़ा खोला…सामने दूध वाला था…दूध लिया….वापिस आई…लैपटॉप गोद में रख दार्शनिक की तरह कुछ देर पंखे की ओर ताका… और फिर फेसबुक पर अपना पहला स्टेटस लिखा….काश! मैं इतने भाव न खाती।

The important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

50 Ways to Say I Love You

50 ways to say I love you

Here are 50 different ways to show your partner how much you care.

By Jamie Jefferson

A giggly game of Trivial Pursuit and a tall margarita… After nine years of marriage, that is how my husband and I last expressed our love for one another.

It is important to say I love you with both passion and frequency. And we can say it not only with our words but with our actions, with our facial expressions and body language, even with our thoughts. Lasting intimacy comes from an everyday appreciation and a reverence for the daily moments we spend in the company of one another.
Here are 50 simple ways you can demonstrate the depth of your love.

(I have used the words he and she interchangeably here. The following ideas are not gender specific.)

1. Write down fifty favorite memories of your life spent together so far. Invite your partner to add to the list and share special ideas for the future.

2. Leave a message on her voicemail with a silly, romantic poem. (Roses are red, violets are blue . . .)

3. Make a CD featuring the songs that have been important in your relationship. Slip it into the CD player of her car.

4. Bring homemade cookies or brownies to his office with a simple love note.

5. Spoon.

6. Surprise her with some bath salts and her favorite magazine. Then take the kids out of the house for the evening so she can enjoy some time alone.

7. Stash a love note in his shoe.

8. Spend some time talking about all the goals you have been able to accomplish during your time as a couple. Reflecting on the things that you have been able to do with the strength of the other, including the challenges, can really help you to remember and to celebrate the depth of your relationship and how you have supported one another through it all.

9. Serve her breakfast in bed.

10. Give him some time one Saturday to do something he enjoys but rarely takes the time for.a

 

READ MORE

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Can Astrology Predict Your Sex Life?

Okay I admit it. Along with being a closeted Madonna girl (so shoot me for liking “bad” 1980s music), I’m an avid horoscope reader. While looking at my yearly forecast, it seems the next sixteen years will fill my Virgo life with romance. Sweet! However, I then jealously found out the next sixteen years promise Gemini’s hot and steamy sex. It got me thinking. Can the stars really predict what’s going on in your bedroom? Not only that, could a couple use this knowledge to help a flagging sex life?

So I decided to go to the source and ask an Astrologer. Tim Stephens, who writes my very favorite horoscope website astroreflections.com, was kind enough to answer my tough questions.

First things first: I asked Tim if he could chart my sexual drive. After giving me a rather complicated answer full of moons, planets and angles, he answered, “By all means, yes.” Not only that, he said he could divide my sex drive by different states, romance, lust or marriage. And even grade my “lust” states by them being either casual or deep.

Wow. Go figure. This is definitely one of those, why didn’t I know this twenty years ago things. Instead of forcing the “sex once a week equals success” equation, charting sex drive can mean respecting a couple’s natural sexual rhythm. You see, the key to long term sexual success is to appreciate there will be times of lots of sex, times with no sex, and times of having sex once a week. Being able to foresee when these situations will happen could potentially eliminate a ton of couple grief.

Therefore charting sex drive could be a better solution, or at least a more holistic answer, for those couples waiting with bated breath for a female Viagra.

Before getting all excited to promote a seemingly wishy-washy topic, I needed to placate the astrology cynics. Here’s the rest of my Q & A with Tim.





Can Astrology Predict Your Sex Life?

To read more click here

Why real love requires honesty

Does true love require complete honesty between you and your partner?
“A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie.” – Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment

By Dr Lisa Love

Recently, I picked up a great book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. Overall, I love the book except one part of it gave me pause and made me reflect. It was in the chapter about “Why Men Cheat” on their wives, girlfriends, etc. Harvey’s basic answers are:

1. They Can.

2. They Think They Can Get Away With It.

3. He Hasn’t Become Who He Wants and Needs to Be or Found Who He Truly Wants.

4. What’s Happening at Home Isn’t Happening Like it Used To.

5. There’s Always a Woman Out There Willing to Cheat With Him.

And, ultimately he explains the man hasn’t got his priorities straight especially in having a real and meaningful spiritual practice in his life.

Ok. So far, so good. And, I also agree with what Harvey says regarding why a man is able to get away with his cheating and lying behavior with the women he is with. One reason this happens Harvey explains (using my paraphrase of what he says not his exact words now) is because any woman he is with hasn’t set high enough standards in her life to respect and love herself enough to see what is going on right in front of her and take a stand about it. She basically colludes in the notion that denial is good for you. After all, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” And, since her denial lets him get away with what he wants to, he is happy to join in on the denial party with her. But, denial is not good for you and it feeds one of my four major love myths I discuss in my Attracting Real Love course — love is blind. Wrong! Real love actually requires 20 – 20 vision because you only know how to really love yourself and others when you are seeing what you need to see clearly.

Which is why when I read this in Harvey’s book I decided I couldn’t disagree more. He says if a woman starts to catch on to a man’s cheating and lying behavior and starts to ask questions a man is going to just do more of his lying and denying game. Why? Harvey says men will do this “if we care about you. But, if not — if a man doesn’t see you fitting into his life plan — he won’t even bother with all of the covering up.” WHOA!!! Come on, Steve! I know the rest of your book also says that a man who really loves a woman won’t cheat, but let’s clear this up right now! Le’t not make it seem like somebody is cheating and hiding the truth from someone out of love. No way, no how!
So, why do we lie?

Plain and simple We’re afraid. Period. Why are we afraid? We don’t love ourselves or the people around us enough to live in truth. And, real love requires the truth. Not some blunt rude make people feel stupid and horrible version of truth. But, truth nonetheless! The most loving relationship exists between people who can live in truth completely. They love and respect each other so much they want to be honest with them. They care about not hurting them. They care about being loved and respected in return for who they are, flaws and all. They want a partner who can hear the truth and help bring it all into the realm of consciousness in a loving way and heal any fear in the realm of love. That means the more a couple lies to each other, the more they actually are in fear of each other, which means love really isn’t very present at all.
Now, why do we refuse to live in truth with our partner?

It’s simple. We are thinking more about ourselves and coming from our egos. We simply don’t want to have to face the consequences of what we are doing and be forced to change our hurtful behaviours. We don’t want to feel bad about ourselves by having to see what is really going on. Or, to share another quote, We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams. In short, we are afraid to love and feed fear in our lives instead.

Ok, I don’t expect people to be perfect. But, try this on for size. Next time you catch yourself or other people telling lies ask yourself this, “What am I afraid of and how does this reflect a lack of love in myself or a lack of love regarding the people I am with?” Then, ask this, “What would it be like to love myself and others enough to be willing to take the scrape, instead of give one?”

Notice this as well. Despite what people say finding out the truth doesn’t hurt! What hurts is discovering how much there was a lack of love and how real love was replaced by deception and fear. Remember, real love heals it doesn’t hurt. And, though it may hurt to find out about lies, shedding them actually opens you up to attracting more real love in your life creating space for the rapture described in the quote above — for yourself and the people around you.

Article source: ArticlesBase.com About the authro: Dr. Lisa Love is the founder of LoveMovies! and a best-selling author. Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way.

तेरे बिना

 

on this Valentine day she is not with me
how sad this day is
although she promised me to be here for me but .....

here my feelings for her are

एकअरसाहोगयाहैउनकोदेखेबिना, लगताहैजैसेजिन्दगीगुजारदीहैउनकेबिना,
यादजबजबआतीहैउनकीतोदिलथामलेतेहै, लगताहैजिन्दाहुजैसेसासोंकेबिना,

कुछतोकशिसहैउनकेप्यारमें, इसभीड़मेंभीअकेलाखड़ाहूउनकेबिना,
आखोंनेभीसपनेलेनेछोड़दिएहै, जिन्दगीबेरंगहोचलीहैउनकेबिना,

वोमुझसेदूरबठेहैअपनेख्यालोमें, औरहमेंनीदआतीनहींअबउनकेबिना,
घडीदोघडीहमभीहसलेतेथे, औरअबहसीभीआतीनहींउनकेबिना,

जुदाईकादर्दअबसहाजातानहीं, चहकरबहीउनकोअपनेसामनेलापतानहीं,
खुदानेभीचुपीलगारखीहैमेरेइसहालपर, कोईतोबतायेकीमैंकैसेजीयुउनकेबिना.